You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
