No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
