his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize