worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
