And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize