sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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