I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
