I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
