I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
