i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
