Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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