He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
where am i from again
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize