i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
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This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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