Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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