You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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