Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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