I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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