Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
