I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
