; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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