just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
