So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
