i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
