and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
