New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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