The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Enjoy the penises
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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