He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
