What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Someone signed my nipple.
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