Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
True strength comes from lack of pants
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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