I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
