If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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