dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
