btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
