the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
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