When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
