my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
