two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
