does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
