Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i barfeds in our rink
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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