I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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