so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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