I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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