He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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