yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
