oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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