singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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