If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
