How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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