just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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