Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
