I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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