Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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