oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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