i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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