omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Found your dick twin last night
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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