Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
