You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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