After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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