I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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