Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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