my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
