when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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